With the holidays behind me, now it’s that time of the year, you know when you make all those promises you’ll never follow through with!! Time for those New Years Resolutions! Well that will be another post to follow in a few days, I wanted to take some time to look back at my year in review. A friend of my put it best “…you have been exposed to some eye opening experiences.” She is certainly right 2013 has been a year of adversity, but I’ve learnt soo much from it.
For me I see adversity as an opportunity for growth, I can bore you with endless quotes of how you can triumph over your trials, but as you’re in it, that just seems like a bunch of hog wash. It’s afterwards when you’re in the reflecting stage that you see that your trials were an opportunity to grow, and as you implement those changes for the future that’s when the growth happens. I think very few people can realize in the middle of something “hey I should use this bad opportunity to learn something.” Don’t feel bad if you don’t learn life lessons until after you’re out of the situation, on the plus side you’re at least aware that growth can come from bad situations. 2013 has been an interesting year for me, bad things happened to people around me, and that’s where the most of the growth happened for me. I can think of 3 friends in particular who I know I made a positive impact on, I showed up at just the right moment, to say or point out what they already knew. For a long time I resented myself for my last failed relationship, I never forgive myself, I’ve since taken a different view on life. I believe that some people are in our lives for a season, and they have a specific purpose. My last relationship thought me not to be as structured, to stop and enjoy life as it happened around me. Whether it’s my military background or perhaps my upbringing, sometimes I can be too structured, too rigid. Once I learned to relax, I learnt to appreciate the beauty of life, I learnt to trust my instincts more, I learnt what my natural gift was. My faith is definitely stronger, and I have a relationship with God again, and I’ve learnt all that this past year.
Although 2013 seemed to be a year of adversity, I feel as though it’s preparing me for what lies next. I believe in my heart that 2014 will be a year of triumph. I feel that I will be put on the path to actualizing my true potential. I think that I will find Love, or it will find me. I’m learning to be more kind and loving. To be more authentic, to show my true self and not be afraid to show who I am. It sounds silly but why not show my authentic self, if I want people to love me for who I am; showing my authentic self sounds like a no brainer. I read somewhere that if you want to find love, you should be love, because love attracts love. Although I have all these revelations, lets not be naive, change is hard, and it will not be an easy journey. I’ve come to an amazing revelation though, we always have the tools and people around us we need. Think about it, at every moment in the past that you’ve overcome a difficult situation, you always had what you needed to get through it. I’ve also come to learn that I know some pretty ammazing women, and they have all inspired me to be a better Man in their own way. As a side note if any of them happen to read this, you’ll get your own special recognition from me in an email addressed just to you.
So what will I need to take on this next challenge? I already believe that I have all the right tools and people around me; I just have to commit to it now. In reflecting to write this I thought about why I didn’t get the things I wanted earlier. Aside from not being ready, and perhaps not having all the tools together until now, maybe I’m part of the problem. For sometime now I’ve felt that my drive has been missing. Take the Marines for example, it was physically and mentally tough, plus so much more to overcome. Another aspect I rarely talk about is my fear of water, I’ll avoid the water because I’m not comfortable in it. A big part of my training was passing the Swim Qualifications. I had worked for 10 weeks and if I couldn’t overcome that, it would have all been wasted. That didn’t stop me from getting in the pool, well that and the scary guy yelling at me. That was nearly 15 years ago, do I need a Drill Instructor yelling at me to get off my butt now? I read a great article on The Daily Love “All of your Relationships are Assignments” where the writer talks about the role your Ego plays in your decision making. I think that I’ve gotten to a stage where I feel entitled, I feel that I’ve worked hard, so certain things should just be handed to me. Perhaps that’s my Ego lying to me, it’s feeding me a version of my reality that isn’t true. I need to trust in my heart, to know that decisions that come from there come from a place of love. Besides I have my faith in God to rely on, what better person to lean on for guidance and inspiration.
The past year has been filled with many lessons, but I’m confident that what lies ahead is going to be amazing. Just as a rolling stone gains more momentum as it goes down hill, I will gain more confidence as I take each step. What about you, what have you learnt this past year, what will you do differently? Is 2014 going to be your year of Triumph, if not Why? What’s stopping you, other than you!