The past few weeks I’ve been more in a reflecting mood, I’ve been thinking about my friendships, and why I’m drawn to some people but not others. I had an exchange with a friend, and I was surprised that they had completely misunderstood me for years. Had I been projecting something to make them see me in a different light? Had I subconsciously meant to hurt them? How have I misunderstood them for all these years? While I had many more unanswered questions, I did realize one thing, my friend and I had both misunderstood each other. So what are the things that draw me into other people, what are the qualities I look for in a True Friend. In today’s society with the readily available social media, what does it take to be my friend, those people I meet for the first time who send me a friend request, is that a Friend? What about friends of your friends you meet, if I’ve briefly spoken a few words to you in a 2 minute conversation, does that make us friends? There are people out there with thousands of “friends” does that mean I’m not a friendly person if I don’t have hundreds of friends on social media? Better yet if I never talk to you again after meeting you once, then what qualifies us to be friends, why do we get to read about and get updates about others’ lives. While I do see many benefits to social media, I find myself wondering, what makes someone a Friend and not another random friend? So this is what I came up with:
- A Friend is non-judgmental, they won’t use your flaws against you in an argument, especially if it’s not about the same topic.
- A Friend is unapologetic, meaning they don’t feel shame about who they are, or don’t blame you for your flaws.
- Shows up when they’re NEEDED, but won’t get mad if you don’t show up to some random event they’re involved in, especially when they know you don’t like that cause. Will also understand when you have a new boyfriend/girlfriend, and won’t expect for you to ditch your new flame just to be with them.
- They’ll pick you up when you fall, will say “how can WE help get you back up on your feet.”
- With a True Friend, you’ll never have to explain your personality flaws/quirks. They actually like you more because you have flaws, they like you because of YOUR flaws.
- You feel excited to share things with them, you don’t avoid certain topics because you don’t know if they’ll be mad or get jealous.
- You don’t feel the need to explain yourself, they just get it!
- They’ll show up to your newest hair-brained idea to support you. But if it’s bad, they’ll be the first to tell you, and they’ll think they did you a favor.
Good friends are hard to find, but as I reflect I know that I’ve come across a few people that have made an impression on me. Although many of us are now leading different lives, and sometimes we don’t speak that often. That hasn’t changed us, when we see each other again, it’s like we’ve just seen each other just yesterday. What about you, what makes a friend a Friend? What draws you in to some people and form a strong bond?