I started to do something different before bed this past month, I’ve started to let music play as I slowly drift into sleep. Aside from being relaxing it’s a good way to calm my mind, and to shift my thought to other things. As I was slowly drifting off last night the DJ was talking about something that made me sit up and listen more closely. I’m paraphrasing here, “Life is a constant cycle, death doesn’t mean the end, even the seasons change, so we should learn to acknowledge that some of the struggles in our life will change to triumphs.“ As I said it made me sit up, because she was right, although life is sometimes a struggle, in most cases it’s not a perpetual struggle.
Death doesn’t necessarily mean the end, sometimes in their death people can also bring us amazing stories that are the catalyst for change. Take nature for example, the death of a plant sometimes means it’s a chance for re-birth. A plant may die, but then it’s seed is reborn into another plant. Or perhaps the winter is brutal, and is the coldest in history, but eventually comes the Spring, and flowers bloom again. I feel that this represents the constant struggle many of us face in our daily lives. Sometimes situations are so brutal or heartbreaking, but eventually the Spring comes, eventually there’s a new beginning. This past year has been interesting for relationships, I’ve seen many relationships around me end, and I’ve even ended one myself. As one relationship dies, we emerge as a new person on the other side. Just as the old plant died off, and a new plant emerged, it’s got some of the old characteristics, but it’s also a plant that’s different. Our past relationships are not who we are anymore, we’ve learnt great lessons from them, and the parts of us we don’t like, have now been transformed into a new creation.
As the weather gets better, I see people starting new relationship, a part of me is jealous, but then I realize something important too. Life is about living, it’s about going out and being bold, and not being afraid to fall on your face. It’s also about having the right people around you; it’s about having the right people on the bus. So while Spring is in the air, and new love and relationships are being sparked, I commend those with the courage to step back out there. Those who are bold and are willing to be vulnerable, often are the ones who get to experience true happiness. There’s a certain kind of confidence that’s attractive about someone who’s not afraid to live. When you’re not afraid to explore, to make mistakes and find new adventures. There’s something about you that makes others want to be like you.
I like that quote because it gets at the larger point of my message, no matter what you’re facing, something else will come after that. It’s up to you what happens next. As life throws you hurdles, will you let them crush you, or will you step over them and continue to move. One of the valuable lessons I’ve learnt this past year is to continue to move forward. Of-course life is sometimes hard, but those who are truly happy have figured out that it’s not about what life throws you, it’s what you do with it after it slaps you upside the face. Here are some tips I’ve learnt form “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz:
- I will be Impeccable with my word– I’ll use my words to speak truth and to build people up. I will not use my word to speak lies or bad things to myself or others.
- Don’t take things personally- I will not let the things others do effect my behavior, especially negative things. Recognize that sometimes others are hurting, and they project that hurt onto me. So that’s why it’s especially important to not take every single action from others as a hit against me personally.
- Don’t make assumptions- There’s an old saying “when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. Misunderstanding are a central part of life, we all see life through various lenses, it’s inevitable that we will sometimes not see things the same way. That’s why it’s very important to ask questions, if you’re not sure of someone’s intentions, ask them what they meant. If someone says or does something that’s hurtful, tell them, it’s very likely that they didn’t even know they hurt you.
- Always do my BEST– Life is hard, and some days you’re not at your best. Learning to accept my limits and recognize that I have them free’s me from blame. When I say doing my best, I mean doing the best that I’m capable of. So if today I feel like laying in bed all day because I’m tired, that’s ok take the rest. When I’m rejuvenated tomorrow, then I’ll have the energy to do more, rather than doing 10% today and maybe 30% tomorrow; instead I’ll have the energy to give 100% tomorrow.
Tomorrow starts a new day, how will you define tomorrow? Are you still thinking about yesterday, is it stopping you from going out and living? Yesterday may have been a brutal winter, but eventually the spring will come. Don’t let your past define you, learn from your mistakes, and let them transform you into a new creation. As we celebrate Easter this weekend, I know that not everyone is religious, but Easter isn’t about Easter Eggs! It’s a celebration of the death and resurrection of Jesus. Even if you’re not religious or believe in God, there can be a valuable lesson to learn there. Death doesn’t have to be that, it’s also an opportunity for re-birth, for the resurrection of a new creation. So how will you be re-born, how will you change from one season to the next? Life is about living, let’s all go out and live tomorrow.