Shame seems to be a big part or the Male Sexuality, we are sometimes controlled by our adolescent sexual urges, and there sometimes seem to be no cure to quench our lustful urges. While we all share this problem, we also all struggle with healthy ways to react to it. As I had talked about in recent posts, we’re currently looking at Male Sexuality in my Church, and it seemed to be a theme on my mind the past few weeks. Here’s an interesting article about the effects of pornography, I’d be lying if I said I’m not sometimes tempted to indulge in the private release of a short video. Bryan brings up a good point in his article, with the addictive nature of porn, we need more stimulation and different kinds of videos as we continue to watch it. Taking us away from interacting with real people. In essence we continue to look to unnatural ways to deal with our sexual tension. Taken in contrast to some of the other things he talked about, “learning how to not react every time we’re sexually aroused”, a clearer picture begins to be revealed. Acknowledging that we have these sexual urges, we must also learn how to harness them. As a young male as I learn more about my sexuality, I can learn how to treat women differently, with respect, and not as objects of my sexual frustrations. This knowledge can lead to a more authentic healthy relationship, that takes sexual interaction to a higher plane, to experience a higher level of sexual chemistry by knowing my partner on a different level.
Note: a shorter version of this blog was recently featured on “The Good Men Project.” It’s been reposted/shared 35,000+ times on Facebook in only a few days. It’s proving controversial. To be clear, I do not promote sexual shame or banning pornography. This article is intended to invite men into a deeper conversation around how we express and experience our sexuality, particularly in regards to online pornography.
In my boyhood teenage days of yore, using pornography required patience, even imagination.
One of my early adventures with porn occurred on weekday afternoons when I got home from middle school. Before anyone else arrived, I would sneak into my parents’ bedroom closet with a small foot stool. I have no idea how I first found it, but resting atop the center ceiling panel, just inches from my horny little brain, was my step-father’s erotic treasure trove of betamax video tapes with titles like “The Oriental Babysitter” and “Taxi Girls.” I’d…
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