W.O.W!!

Double Rainbow

W.O.W!! Go ahead say it a few times, when’s the last time you stopped to take a look at something because it was just soo amazing? If you can’t remember the last time you said wow, then you should probably take a minute, step outside. Whether you’re spiritual or you don’t believe there’s a god, you have to admit, the universe is a pretty amazing thing. The millions of stars, the beautiful wonder and all the bright colors. Even our planet, just the right distance from the Sun, and so far scientists haven’t discovered another like it in the known universe. Wow that’s pretty amazing if you ask me. I was thinking of this today, about how amazing and mind blowing our planet is. The trees, the plants, birds, and all the creatures. They all have a purpose and they’re all perfectly made. I just sat there and thought of all the great things, and just had to say “WOW that’s so amazing.” Now I know you’re wondering “what’s that got to do with anything?” I heard about a video this weekend Yosemitebear Mountain Double Rainbow, now this person knows how to appreciate nature and all the wonderful things it gives us. Granted I don’t think any of us can appreciate it with his jubilance, you have to admit, he is really happy to see that rainbow.

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When is the last time you were really excited about something, and not about getting that new Playstation, or that one thing you’ve wanted since it came out on the market. I’m not talking about items, or little trinkets that could be gone in a flash. When was the last time you saw something in nature, or a special someone, that made you say “I’m really happy to see you.” Now before I get too off topic, let me make my point. Are you happy with the things around you that are natural, do you take the time to enjoy your life? Do you appreciate the people around you? Do you think you’re perfect and wonderfully made? If you’re like me, you probably answered no to at least one or two of those questions. I brought up nature and the beauty of it, because let’s face it, a sunset is perfect, and so are the birds, and all the animals. Each has it’s purpose and it fulfills that purpose each day. Now we are obviously much smarter than all the animals, plants, and beasts of the wild. Look at all the amazing things we’ve done. Seriously how did someone think up how to make the device you’re reading this on. Have you ever visited a factory, look at all the wires, tubes, ducts, and machinery. Someone thought up every little part. WOW how amazing is that?

We each have our very own unique purpose, and we have a wonderful gift to share with the world. What if, even our faults have a purpose, what if those faults can be our triumph in the right situation. What if just like all those other wonderful things in the universe, we are too. Let’s face it if everything else is perfect just the way it is, why are we the exception. If anything we’re exceptional, look at all the great inventions other humans have come up with. As I was thinking about all the great things around me, that thought started creeping in, “yea those things are great, but you’re …” You know, the I’m not smart enough, or I’m not pretty enough, or I wish I was taller … As I was thinking about how wonderful everything around me is, I thought I should learn to appreciate what I have to offer, how wonderfully made I am, the gifts I have to offer the world. Learn to embrace all aspects of my life.Even being single could be a blessing, because let’s face it, the grass is always greener on the other side. If you’re interested check out  OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO… BE SINGLE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON! If you believe that everything else is made perfect, then maybe, just maybe so are you. So let’s learn to embrace ourselves, our REAL SELF.

So what about you, what WOW moment did you have this week. I’d love to hear about it, and for once lets change the way we see ourselves. Just like that amazing Rainbow, or the beautiful sunset. We’re all perfect just the way we are. Take time to smell the rose, if the dog gets it, let’s not be left behind.

Stop smell the roses

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Giving Thanks, Even for my Tribulations!

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First of all I know you’re wondering why I’m taking time to write, when I could be getting full on food. I read in a post today to listen to your muse, don’t deny or stifle her. So thought I’d get these few word down and posted. As everyone is giving thanks for all the good things they have, it got me thinking. Aside for the good things, what else am I thankful for? What about my trials and disappointments, am I thankful for those too; after all they were great life lessons. It’s easy to look at good things and say, “yea I’m definitely thankful for those things.” I know in my life I’ve had bad things that happened, but that also changed me for the good afterwards; I’m thankful for those too. Although there are plenty of good things that I’m thankful for, I’m going to take time to reflect on things that weren’t exactly good, but had shaped me afterwards.

I grew up in a country that seemed worlds apart from where I am now, we always had food and shelter, but there were limitations. So why am I thankful for this? It’s taught me to be content with little, I don’t need big extravagant gifts and presents, something small and thoughtful goes a long way. My childhood has also though me to be goal oriented, and strive hard to make a better life for myself and generations after me. That tenacity has helped me through school, since education has always been a big part of my life; education represented a way to transcend your circumstances. I was also an only child for 13 years, that’s helped me to be ok with being in quiet spaces. Taking time to reflect and contemplating my past and future. I’ve always been a thinker, and those days sitting at the window and thinking of going to America, the place where apparently the streets were made of gold, helped shape who I am now. Of course now that I’m here, the streets aren’t made of gold, and you still have to work quite hard to get what you want.

For a long time I thought that not being married and having a family of my own, was a downfall. I think over the years I’ve matured and would make a much better husband and father. I’ve learnt to embrace who I am, and I’ve learnt so much about myself by just focusing on me. What’s so good about that you ask? People are complicated, relationships are even more complicated. Over the past few years relationships of mine have started and ended, and so have those of friends. For me although there were several reasons why those relationships ended, one of the constants were that we’re all figuring out ourselves. Adding another person to that equation made it more complicated than it needed to be. Of course we’re all familiar with the famous “you’re not the same person as when we first met.” Then there came that dreaded question, ‘Is this the right person for me, are they helping me to achieve the best me?’ Of course I now believe that those people who are no longer in our lives, were put there at that point to help us get to the next point. For that reason I don’t look at failed relationships as something negative, I see them as an opportunity to grow. Call me a romantic or idiot, I do believe that there is someone out there for me ‘The One’. Together we’ll help each other achieve the best us. I’ve come to believe that’s what a relationship should be about. A good loving relationship should be one where both people are benefiting equally, rather than one person getting more, or some other variance of that.

I’m thankful for my job, and no it’s not for the obvious reasons, like having money and security. I’m currently doing something that I thought I would enjoy; I’ve unfortunately learnt that I’m not passionate about it. Not being passionate about my job is effecting me more negatively than I thought it would; it’s effecting me much more than everything else. Yes I’m aware that plenty of people are doing things that they’re not passionate about. I’ve had other jobs in the past, where the pay wasn’t that good, I may not have liked my boss, or even liked the company. However I liked what I did, and that motivated me to go in day after day, be positive and do the best I can. That’s because I liked what I did, and that intrinsic motivation got me through, and kept me working 100% day after day. What’s so different now? As I’m learning more about myself I’ve learnt that although I like structure, I still what autonomy, I want to work and not have anyone looking over my shoulder. I like the people I work with, and there are a lot of great things about my company, but deep down I now I’m not passionate about what I’m doing. Sometimes I feel that without passion I can become my own enemy, or maybe I’m just over thinking it and I’ll be fine.

I’m thankful for these few examples because they represent parts of my life I thought I’d have a handle on my now, heck I’m approaching my mid 30’s and I’m still not married, have a great career, and own my own home. While those things are important, I’m learning that even with those things, I can still feel empty and lost inside. So despite not having those things I’m still happy with whom I’ve become, and I know that there is a purpose for me here. I’m learning that I’m where I’m needed, I’ve found that I’ve been available for others at just the right time, just when they really needed someone to talk to, or that encouraging word. Of course the one thread holding it all together is my faith. I’ve found my way back to god, or maybe I’ve realized that I’ve never actually lost him. There is much more to those examples that I’ve given, those are some of my low points that come to mind. I’ve learnt to have faith, and trust that I’ll continue to live day by day, and that I’ll always have the support I need. Maybe it’s a friend reaching out when I needed one, maybe it’s a random post on Facebook, or even an encouraging word. It all makes me feel that I’m loved and will always have the support of god, my family and friends.

So while everyone else is being thankful for all the good in their life, I’m taking time to reflect on things that seemed bad, but turned out to be a great life lesson. So what about you, what have you learnt from your trials and challenges. It’s easy to be thankful for good situations, but what challenging situation can you be thankful for today.

The things we do for Love!

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Love is such a strong word; it can evoke fear with just a whisper and two other words. You know, that first ‘I love you’ in a new relationship. It can fuel a kind of courage and bravado that can take down a lion. Love can also be misunderstood, what is love to you? I read something today that prompted me to sit here and write these few words this late evening. I was reading a popular blog today and one of the writers got me thinking, for as much times we say Love, why do so many people misunderstand what Love really means.

I can’t begin to give a clear eloquent meaning of what love is, so I will borrow these words form someone much smarter, Mastin Kipp

 “Being Loving does NOT mean being a pushover. It does not mean being codependent and putting everyone else first and leaving  yourself empty…There are many different states of Love. There is kind Love. There is angry Love. There is fearful Love (can you    imagine that!?). There is patient Love. There is passionate Love. There is restrained Love…Being Loving doesn’t mean you are always happy.”

I’ve heard people say things like “I thought you loved me, so why are you leaving.” For me this shows that you’re thinking of love in a two dimensional state. I think sometimes people think of love as the end result of putting in a certain amount of work, “I’ve done these set number of things so you should love me.”Take dogs for example, they will love you no matter how you treat them. So why do people think that love is so simple. I feel that love is not so much the end result of a list of actions, but more of a ‘State of Being’.

This brings me to another question. Should you sacrifice who you are, should you stifle your spirit for someone else? Call me selfish but I don’t think you should, because in the end you’ll both be lost. I think that we all have a purpose; people are in our lives for a reason. If we’re too focused on the person and not why they’re here, we may miss the opportunity for growth.

Like everyone else I’ve had my share of heart brakes, but I’ve learnt from that. I’m also learning that Love isn’t selfish; Love doesn’t do something because it EXPECTS a reward. After all it’s Love, it’s cool like that, and it doesn’t care if you noticed it.

I’m learning to be more self-less with my love, and I’ve noticed a change. I’m much more attuned to those around me, and I’m more empathetic to their feelings of pain.

So my point is this, Love isn’t what happens after you’ve checked a couple of boxes, and not because someone is choosing to have a life apart from you, it also means they don’t love you. Love builds over time, and it also fades over time. But my point is that even though someone is apart from you, it doesn’t also mean “See they didn’t love me after-all.” That kind of thinking is just your EGO sheltering you from the truth, you’re telling yourself a lie to make you feel better.

The next time you say those special words ‘I Love you’ what does it mean? Are you saying that because it’s a state of being, a way of life, a set of beliefs and actions that’s entwined into your relationship? Or are you thinking, we’ve been together X amount of years, and I’ve done XYZ for you, so you SHOULD Love me. If you find yourself thinking the latter, here’s your chance to try the other version before it’s too late, before your love walks away!

***I know many of my writings are usually a bit more positive and uplifting. This is a topic that sometimes frustrates me, it’s infuriating to hear someone completely misunderstand what love is. I’ll leave it at that and perhaps I’ll be on a more positive tone tomorrow. Perhaps next it will be why Love is so Great!

Patience is a Virtue! But what does that mean?

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I’ve been giving words of wisdom and encouragement lately, but despite my positive outlook, it’s not always easy to stay positive. I needed some encouragement today, and a few thoughtful words from a friend did the trick. Have you ever prayed “god grant me patience?” Well how do you get patience, does it come when things are calm? Chances are you have to be in a situation that tests your patience, and helps to build it up. Sounds like a relatively simple lesson, except when we’re in a situation, it’s very hard to step back and see the bigger picture.

I’ve been learning that sometimes you have to just enjoy the journey you’re on, that’s what life is all about, enjoying each and every moment. I though this would be a fitting time to stop and reflect on what my friend said. Despite all the positive steps I’ve taken in other parts of my life, I’m not ideally where I’d like to be in my work life. As my friend thoughtfully said “you’re not necessarily happy …yet you’re right where you need to be, enjoy the journey and know the best is yet to come.” Those words got me thinking, she’s absolutely right. I’ve been praying for patience, and here I was in a situation that isn’t ideally where I’d like to be, and I couldn’t recognize that this was an opportunity to gain patience. This was of course only the beginning of an awesome day. The situation I thought I was heading towards is not what was actually destined to happen. I had a really awesome day, and it set me up for another great day tomorrow. All it took was a few well thought out words to get me in the right mindset.

This led me to change my mindset, I didn’t know how my day was going to go, but that shouldn’t stop me form doing my best. If there is one point I’d like you to remember is this! None of us can control the future, and the past has already gone, we can’t do anything about that. But we still have control of this very moment, I could have been in bed watching TV, instead I’m choosing to listen to music, and let my thoughts guide my fingers. I’m not sure who these words are going to encourage or lift up. But I still have control of what I do in this very moment. I decided that I was going to do my best (the best that I’m capable of right now, noting more or less), be in the moment and maintain control of my actions. In that I found my strength, I didn’t worry about where I though I was going, not focusing on the bad outcome I was predicting. Of course the outcome I though I was certainly heading towards never happened, instead I was victorious, and I accomplished much more than I though I was capable of.

What about your life, are you in a situation that you don’t think is ideal? Do you think that you’re heading for let down or disappointment? What if you can change that outcome, what if you stop focusing on that bad outcome you’re certain is coming? What if you just focused on what you’re doing right now, is life giving you an opportunity to turn things around? Those are a lot of what if scenarios, but you’re still just guessing, none of us knows how the future is going to play out. So like the lesson I learnt today. Live in the moment, do your best right now. It’s possible that the Universe (or God) has a different plan for you. Sometimes it’s ok to just take a breath, relax and see what happens next.

What do you think, am I on the right path? Will anyone else join me, do your best that you can right now, and let the future be the future.